Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I want to be better.

Let me preface this too-serious post with some fun first. I've been having way too much fun with the Face In Hole app. Especially with the dogs. I'm so easily amused.

Best 99 cents I've ever spent. Try it, I bet you will be addicted, too!

Now on to the more serious subject matter. It's been a fairly mild winter here (yay, Nashville!), but I think I am just prone to the winter "blahs", Seasonal Affective Disorder, cabin fever, or whatever you want to call it.

My life is just fine. Not too stressful (other than Josh being so busy with school stuff), no huge responsibilities, no kids, no money issues other than having to tighten up the budget a bit until Josh graduates next spring. Heck, no car issues anymore. What I am trying to say is I have absolutely no reason to feel anything other than happy 24/7.

But I don't. I've been having wild mood swings this week, going from being a Joyful Jokester to a Debbie Downer in about 2 seconds flat. I've got a full social schedule (baby showers galore, neighborhood fun, hosting a Pampered Chef party) but nothing that is not enjoyable or presses me for time. Still, I feel overwhelmed somehow.

Right now, I am feeling like I can't do anything right. And when I don't feel like I can do things right, I don't want to do them at all. I rarely cook anymore, and Josh knows better than to ask me what's for dinner. Clean landry is everywhere, waiting for me to fold it. I refuse. Reading material is piling up but I can't seem to sit still long enough to read it. I honestly don't know what I do with my free time. I guess I just flit from one thing to the next, never really completing anything, and it makes me really frustrated with myself. Which then makes me feel bad. Which then makes me sad.

I've really gotten away from doing the things I love to do and the things that ground me and keep me sane. I haven't been to yoga in way too long, and I'm done making excuses, so I am going tonight. I can't wait to melt into my mat and finally relax. Hopefully it will help these constant headaches I've been having, not to mention jaw pain. I am unsure if I have a cavity, or if my jaw is just always clenched. I will probably cry at yoga, but it will be such a release. I've got to get back to me.

Spring (and more sunshine) can't come soon enough. And hugs. I need more hugs in my life.


  1. I don't cook either at the moment but it's been an ongoing saga for me to get going with it. This makes me feel pretty bad too. Anyhow, I hope you start to feel more like your normal peppier self soon. Sounds like you have the blues and it's kinda tough when you can't pin point an exact reason. Enjoy your Yoga.

    1. I didn't end up going to yoga. Shame on me, huh? I will go next week for sure, because I am co-hosting a neighborhood brunch with my yoga instructor next weekend, so we'll have to hammer out the details, and I'll truly have no excuse.